You could say that I am having one of those moments where all I want to do is just write. I mean, it’s a Saturday night, I’ve enjoyed my weekly dose of Britain’s Got Talent, I’m meant to be going out but I just can’t seem to budge off behind this screen? One could turn around and say ‘shut that screen down and go and enjoy yourself’ but sometimes I consider writing and being creative on this blog as a major stress relief… does that even make sense? Although running this blog does take a lot of my time, but writing and having a lot of ‘me time’ has been something that I have been doing for years. I wasn’t someone who grew up in the city or in a busy housing estate where popping to a mates house was a common occurrence, I was bought up on a farm where my friends were at least half an hour away from me- so being dropped off at a friends house wasn’t all that easy. When I was younger I remember having a dolphin padlocked diary where I would write for a good evening- I would get out my ‘smelly’ gel pens and carefully write about my day occurrences. My twin sister also had one of these padlocked dolphin diaries and I remember that we used to hide them in really secretive places so that our brothers wouldn’t find them. Writing and even having those diaries are really fond memories for my sister and I, and I guess writing a blog like this is just a new and modern way of having the same memories of that dolphin diary that I care about so much (and I get to write about beauty and fashion too… yey!).
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Another thing that I used to do is write songs. Now I wouldn’t even consider myself to be a musical person (I can’t even play an instrument) but the whole thing of sitting down and being expressive on paper was just ever relieving for me. I think what this all comes down to is that I would consider myself to be an extremely private person and I very rarely show any negative emotion. Even when I was a kid and was being bullied, there was no way that I could tell my parents or let anyone see that something was bothering me. Although when I was 10 I used to be bullied by a teacher- she used to make comments about my weight (I used to very slim) and generally pick on me in front of the whole class. And as you can imagine, being a 10 year and keeping this in for a very long time led to some health problems. I got really skinny to the point where people were questioning whether I had an eating disorder and I had to take a lot of time off school for anxiety and panic attacks- I remember that I couldn’t breathe for a lot of the time and I was just ever so petrified to go back to school. Luckily I did tell my parents and it all got sorted, but writing these emotions out on black pieces of paper helped to crease out the huge lump that I constantly had in my throat. Although most of those pieces of paper did get ripped up, sometimes taking the time to figure out your feelings on paper can be extremely worthwhile. So I guess what I am trying to say is that if you are having troubles in sharing anything that is upsetting you, try expressing yourself out on paper or through a blog/journal. Whilst it is always best to share/talk to others, it’s amazing how writing can straighten out any worries (and it’s also a great tool for venting may I add). But as they say, the best pieces of work come from real situations and feelings- so you better get started on writing your best selling novel!
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Another inspiration to write was the good ol’ Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen biography (I used to love them so much as a kid). I loved how their bibliography ‘Our Story ‘pretty much documented their whole lives and doing the same just felt so right in my little dolphin diary. I also loved how they always did a little ‘vlog’ styled ‘behind the scenes’ at the end of their movies and their books were always written in a diary style (do any of you remember those?). I think that it was around this age that I wrote a whole story line for Coronation Street and sent it in to Granada Studio for the attention of Steve Frost who was the Producer at that time (I know what a ballsy kid). Although the story line never got published at least I got a letter back acknowledging my ideas (a proud young writer’s moment there!).
I know that this post seems to be a little over the place and random, but I had the urge just to share with you all on why I like to write. I do not write this blog in order to gain recognition, sympathy, or attention, but I write this blog because it’s what I have been doing for my whole life. Many fear of being judged when writing a blog but I can honestly say that it’s an amazing thing to do so never feel put off. If you always care about what others think then it will always be a barrier in achieving your dreams and wants. Life’s too short, so live life freely but legally (ha!).
What inspires you to write?
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